Just love me!

Just LOVE me, like a fat kid loves cake!

Have you ever felt like that? When I first heard that, it hit me like a ton of bricks. To be in LOVE like that or to be loved like that would just rule forever. Is that not what we are all yearning for? Do we not seek out LOVE from the second we breathe as an infant? We search our parents eyes for that look of LOVE. We smile because we know it makes them smile with the LOVE that they feel for us.


To LOVE or not to LOVE? This is the question we all ponder through out life.

Why do we yearn to be someones everything? We want nothing more than to feel like the LOVE of one`s life. We spend our lives looking for that special person that will make our world seem like a dream. We want to feel safe and secure in our choice of partners. But how do we really know that this one is "the one" we will LOVE unconditionally forever? How do we know that this choice of LOVE will not break our heart? How do we know that this LOVE will LOVE us when the chips are down and we are not that perfect person that they fell in LOVE with?

Well I hate to sound like a wet blanket here on a cold night, but nothing is guaranteed. Life promises us nothing. We make our lives what they are, right at this moment. In matters of the heart we gamble, and as I have said before, to give LOVE is to risk losing LOVE. That is just another one of those bleary facts. Like rain storms and snowfalls, we have no control over anything that nature has given to us. We can only do our best with what we have. I have spoken before about gifts. Well, LOVE is a gift when it is given and when it is received. It does not happen because we say we want it to, or when we like a person and say "LOVE me". HA. I am sure that almost everyone out there will agree to that. I am also certain that the word "Stalker" comes from that notion.

LOVE can be a very scary risk. "Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it! It makes you so vulnerable. It opens you up, totally exposing your heart only to let someone get inside you and twist things up so tight, you can barely breathe. You build up defenses, you build an entire suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then that person, not seeming any different from any other person, wanders into your lonely life. You give them your heart. They didn't ask for it. They did something one day, like kiss you or smile your way, and then your life isn't your own any more. LOVE takes your heart hostage. LOVE swarms inside you. LOVE devours your entire being and leaves you crying in the darkness. With the simple phrase, "lets just be friends", it turns into a knife, cutting its way into your heart. The pain is like no other you have ever felt nor ever want to feel again. Not just in your imagination, not just in the mind. It's like losing a part of who you are, or rather who you were. That my friends is one reason we are so careful to not make the wrong LOVE choice. I know reading this totally makes one never want to do that. But we do, over and over again. Why?

Is it such a deep needed desire that we really have no control? Is cupids arrow that strong? YES on both counts.

LOVE is one of the most powerful sensations we will ever endure in our lives.

LOVE knows no limit to its power, no end to its trust, no loss of its hope.

LOVE can overpower anything.

LOVE stays up, when all else has falls down.

LOVE is felt when one grasps another's hand.

LOVE is as much of an object as an obsession. Everybody wants it and everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it. Those who do, will cherish it, get lost in it, and among all, will never, ever forget it.

LOVE does not waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead it creates a perfect love.

LOVE is somewhat like an hourglass, the heart fills up on one side as the brain empties the other.

LOVE is admiring ones heart: as admiration is the love of ones mind.

LOVE is with you when you least deserve it, because that's when you really need it.

These are a few thoughts that I have that tell me what LOVE is and why LOVE is.

When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us.We must understand that until we admit that while our partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we alone are the only ones that can bring that same fulfillment to ourselves. No one is responsible for our happiness.

Some people fall into a pattern of needing that NEWNESS LOVE in their relationships. These people will go from one relationship to another forever, never getting off that roller coaster of failure. They never understand that LOVE has stages. LOVE at first is so full of mystery and excitement. Then we move into becoming comfortable with one another and blending our ways to continue to strengthen our LOVE for one another. We continue to grow with each other, adding newness to each other by growing in one world, but as two people. Our years together build our road to our destiny of spending our lives and enduring tribulations as one. If you want life to always be a bed of roses, then you best grow a few gardens, because the roses will only get there if you grow them or bring them to your life. In other words sweet people of LOVE, your LOVE and passion is only what you make it. If you ignore it or get too busy to feed it, it will die or fade away. It's like any other living breathing thing. LOVE needs to be treated with respect and treated like the special gift that it is.

Another thing we must be careful of is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image, otherwise LOVE is only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. LOVE like you mean it, it is the only true way to let your LOVE for one another grow stronger and continue to be all powerful and wonderful.

Dating Online - The new way to meet people

A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. Dating in the 21st century has taken many turns, among these the emerging popularity of meeting partners online.

Online dating has many benefits. The shy dater can open up and get to know a person without having to deal with first-date jitters that often come from fear of the unknown. By the time he or she meets the potential paramour, they have already established a comfort level that allows the date to flow much more smoothly.



At the other end of the spectrum, social butterflies love online dating because of the number of fish in the sea. With so many people to choose from, booking several dates in a short amount of time is easy. Online dating allows you to be discreet, and it also enables you to be choosy. You choose partners based on common interests gleaned from dating profiles. This is an attractive alternative to approaching a potential mate in a bar going on looks alone.

As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself. Professional writers and photographers offer services to assist you with your dating profile. They hawk services to help you attract more hits to your online profile, which obviously helps lead to more dating options.

Dating websites vary. Some require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Other dating sites offer free private e-mail accounts and access to thousands of profiles without paying a dime. When engaging in online dating, however, it is important to exercise caution.

Remember that anyone with Internet access has access to these sites. It is virtually impossible for dating sites to weed out the bad seeds; the online dater must take care in setting up dates with strangers. When first meeting face-to-face, choose a public place. Don't divulge too much information until you have a good idea of the person's character. Be careful not to tell too much too soon. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting.

Dating Advice: Love Shouldn't Hurt

"Because when pain has been intertwined with love and closeness, it's very difficult to believe that love and closeness can be experienced without pain." -Gloria Steinem, "Revolution from Within."
If you tend to attract men who disappoint you (by cheating on you, not showing up when they say they will, or just refusing to get off the couch), you may be confusing love with pain.
So many of us have been brought up to believe that pain is normal, even expected, in a love relationship. Without it, the relationship seems flat, boring. We crave drama. (Why is it that so many women have great sex after a fight with a significant other?)
A happy, loving relationship eludes us because we don't recognize it when we see it, or because we simply believe it's not possible (News Flash: According to a recent Today Show, all men lie. All of them! I wasn't aware that men have a monopoly on lying or other bad behavior. I know some women who are breathtaking liars. Don't you?).


According to the media, men are incapable of remembering birthdays, being monogamous, getting through a weekend unless they're transfixed before a marathon of football games. Women internalize these messages: That's the way men are. That's the way life is. Get over it.
And while the media is happy to sell us the myth of the unattainable happy relationship, some of us have come to believe in it because of our own experiences.
Some of us:
(a) Had parents who treated each other indifferently, (b) had parents who outright hated each other, (c) had fathers who ignored us as children, (d) had a parent who suffered from alcoholism, (e) had mothers who would rather have been doing something else, or (f) had a parent who suffered from a mental illness.
And so, we learned to associate love with pain. It's all we knew.
Others among us grew up in perfectly happy homes with parents who loved each other and delighted in us, but we still managed to:
(a) Internalize negative messages we heard from our friends' parents who were unhappily married, or
(b) Internalize negative messages we saw elsewhere (I know a woman who, during her impressionable teenage years, babysat for a couple who gave each other the silent treatment and expected her to relay messages. She also babysat for another family, where the father once came home early and started reading a porn magazine!).
As a result of this programming, we set low bars for the behavior we'll accept from boyfriends or husbands. Hey, it's better than being alone, right?
Wrong.
If you're putting up with substandard behavior from men, make decision to stop. Refuse to date anybody until you attract a man who makes your happiness a priority. Trust me; such a man will come into your life and stay there.
Treat him as you have come to expect him to treat you, which means with affection, respect, and consideration. Does this sound boring to you? If it does, please examine your feelings about relationships and see if they haven't determined the kind of men you attract.
You see, once you stop dating men who disappoint you but excite you, you can make room for a guy who loves you the way you deserve to be loved--and who excites you. Love and excitement are important, but if they're accompanied by pain, something's wrong. You'll never be truly happy with a guy who lets you down.
Ask yourself, "Where did I ever get the idea that love has to hurt?"
Give yourself time to come up with the answers. Take stock of whether your relationship is worth saving. If you speak up, will it make a difference? If not, are you willing to make room for a man who will love you and make you laugh instead of cry for a change?
"Because when pain has been intertwined with love and closeness, it's very difficult to believe that love and closeness can be experienced without pain." -Gloria Steinem, "Revolution from Within."
If you tend to attract men who disappoint you (by cheating on you, not showing up when they say they will, or just refusing to get off the couch), you may be confusing love with pain.
So many of us have been brought up to believe that pain is normal, even expected, in a love relationship. Without it, the relationship seems flat, boring. We crave drama. (Why is it that so many women have great sex after a fight with a significant other?)
A happy, loving relationship eludes us because we don't recognize it when we see it, or because we simply believe it's not possible (News Flash: According to a recent Today Show, all men lie. All of them! I wasn't aware that men have a monopoly on lying or other bad behavior. I know some women who are breathtaking liars. Don't you?).
According to the media, men are incapable of remembering birthdays, being monogamous, getting through a weekend unless they're transfixed before a marathon of football games. Women internalize these messages: That's the way men are. That's the way life is. Get over it.
And while the media is happy to sell us the myth of the unattainable happy relationship, some of us have come to believe in it because of our own experiences.
Some of us:
(a) Had parents who treated each other indifferently, (b) had parents who outright hated each other, (c) had fathers who ignored us as children, (d) had a parent who suffered from alcoholism, (e) had mothers who would rather have been doing something else, or (f) had a parent who suffered from a mental illness.
And so, we learned to associate love with pain. It's all we knew.
Others among us grew up in perfectly happy homes with parents who loved each other and delighted in us, but we still managed to:
(a) Internalize negative messages we heard from our friends' parents who were unhappily married, or
(b) Internalize negative messages we saw elsewhere (I know a woman who, during her impressionable teenage years, babysat for a couple who gave each other the silent treatment and expected her to relay messages. She also babysat for another family, where the father once came home early and started reading a porn magazine!).
As a result of this programming, we set low bars for the behavior we'll accept from boyfriends or husbands. Hey, it's better than being alone, right?
Wrong.
If you're putting up with substandard behavior from men, make decision to stop. Refuse to date anybody until you attract a man who makes your happiness a priority. Trust me; such a man will come into your life and stay there.
Treat him as you have come to expect him to treat you, which means with affection, respect, and consideration. Does this sound boring to you? If it does, please examine your feelings about relationships and see if they haven't determined the kind of men you attract.
You see, once you stop dating men who disappoint you but excite you, you can make room for a guy who loves you the way you deserve to be loved--and who excites you. Love and excitement are important, but if they're accompanied by pain, something's wrong. You'll never be truly happy with a guy who lets you down.
Ask yourself, "Where did I ever get the idea that love has to hurt?"
Give yourself time to come up with the answers. Take stock of whether your relationship is worth saving. If you speak up, will it make a difference? If not, are you willing to make room for a man who will love you and make you laugh instead of cry for a change?